Screaming in Sweden

söder, helsingborg
March 31, 2009, 7:46 pm
Filed under: Life, Love, Sweden | Tags: , ,

söder (which literally means south) where i live has always got a bit of a bad reputation in helsingborg. they say it’s the wrong side of the city. life is rougher, tougher and wilder here than the other side. all bad things happen on this side.

most people i know living on the north side have never been to any restaurants or shops in söder besides max hamburgare which is the swedish mcdonalds and the cinema. that is as far as people seem to get in söder.

people always look a bit surprised whenever i tell them about the nice restaurant called shiraz that serves the best bakad potatis med skagenröra (baked potato with creamy prawn thingy) in the whole wide world. or about the best pizza restaurant in helsingborg called choice. well, i would say the only decent pizza restaurant in sweden really.

it’s a bit sad. i mean the people. the fact that söder has got a bit of a bad reputation. not the pizza *s* hmm. maybe the pizza, too.

the thing is i love söder. one day i went out because the sun was shining and i only saw the söder i loved.

it looks a bit like these…





I like this…
March 31, 2009, 10:57 am
Filed under: Love | Tags: , ,


Such a cool idea! I wish I was a dentist! ;)

A reason (or two) to jump up and down
March 30, 2009, 12:14 pm
Filed under: Life, Love, Music


Picture from here

Today I woke up feeling funny in my head.

It feels light. But it also feels… powerful. Strange. But good. Really good feeling.

And I have the urge to write about it and tell it to the world. To you.

Yesterday I stayed up late because I wanted to finish an oil painting – a study of a self-portrait by Van Gogh. It is one of the blue ones with really nice pink and yellow shades all over.  I hesitated before I started because I did not think I could paint that well.

And then somewhere amidst the brush strokes, I felt my hand took over. I stopped thinking. I stopped planning the space for lighter and darker colours on my palette. I just painted.

I felt effortlessly in control.
I felt alive… and excited.
I forgot the time and I forgot to eat my dinner.

At 2 a.m. it was done. I took a step back and stared at my work. Van Gogh looked younger than he did but I felt a sense of accomplishment. I was proud, amazed, and still very excited. And my left hand was sore from holding the palette.

Reluctantly, I left my “studio” and went to bed. My eyes were tired and my body was exhausted but I had never felt so awake. I thought about creating so many other paintings and crafty things that I had write it down.

Then I fell asleep somehow.

Today I woke up feeling funny in my head.

I feel alive.

*jumps up and down*

Here is the other reason to jump up and down.

I found a new music I love:

Coconut Records – West Coast

a very beautiful vampire film
March 23, 2009, 5:21 pm
Filed under: Love, Movies

oh i love this film so much.

it’s the most beautiful vampire film i’ve ever seen so far. not that i watch lots of vampire films but it’s got to be the most beautiful vampire film in the world.

thought it was going to be really scary and gory and bloody and all, but it’s just so beautifully made.

and i love the love story between these two.  so innocent, so genuine.


love the photography, the melancholy mood, the 80’s setting…




Now go watch the film now.

A guest blogger
March 20, 2009, 1:07 pm
Filed under: Life, Love, Malaysia

Hey blog,

I’ve got a guest blogger today. My wonderful Mommy.

I came from a poor but happy family of nine, four boys and five girls. I am the fourth member with two brothers and an elder sister. My mom worked very hard to subsidize my dad’s meager earnings of about RM180 monthly. She washed clothes for RM10 a month, cooked and cleaned for a family of six for RM35 a month. As such, my mom could only give us 10 sen daily for food when we go to school and 40 sen for the two-way bus fare from my house in Sungei Bakap to my school in Nibong Tebal which is 4 miles away.

One day, I was mischievous and spent away my 20 sen bus fare for a mixed fruit salad, we called “rojak”. I thought I could quite easily borrow from our kind elderly neighbour whom I called as “Koo kong” (Grandpa). Grandpa worked as a manager at the bus station and he had lent me some money for bus fare on a few occasions in the past. I had always made sure I returned the money when I reached home, although my Mom had advised me not to do so. However, she did not scold me, she was very kind and loving to all of us.

So, on this very day, I thought, “Oh, I will just borrow from Grandpa” after spending my bus fare on rojak. Having enjoyed the rojak very much, I walked happily from school to the bus station which was about 5 km away. Then, to my shock, Grandpa was not there. I was told that he was sick and could not come to work. My young mind started to roll because I did not know anybody else except Grandpa and I dared not speak to anyone. I knew my mom would be very unhappy if I ever borrowed money from strangers.

After a while, I decided to walk home thinking it was not that far anyway. After walking for about an hour under the hot sun, I started to get tired and hot. I began to lose hope that I could walk all the way home which was still a long way to go. I got worried and scared. I started to cry and wail my fate. I prayed and begged for the spirit of my Grandma to save me. I chose Grandma because Dad used to tell me that I resembled my Grandma and he was sure my Grandma would have loved me very much, had she been alive.

I cried and cried but I continued to walk for another half an hour. Suddenly, a man who was cycling stopped his bicycle and asked why I was crying. He was a young Indian man, maybe in his early twenties with a kind face. I told him I did not have any money to take the bus and I had to walk home, miles away. He walked beside me, dragging along his bicycle and told me to stop crying as he could help me. Being so young, I did not actually understand how he could help me but I felt somewhat relieved.

After a while, this man stopped a bus that passed by. The man asked me to get on the bus and he told the bus conductor to take me home. He paid for my bus fare. Probably, as I was still young and in a fright, I had forgotten to thank this kind young man. However, I still remember this man even now after a period of 42 years, I am now 50.

March 18, 2009, 7:00 pm
Filed under: Life, Love


He received a call last night. It was a call from a person he cared for very much. His name was Rich. Life had not been treating Rich very well for some years now. They talked for a while until it was time to go to bed. I wondered what happened and he smiled.

Rich said the most beautiful thing I have ever heard for very long time.

I am human again.

photo from here and I want that green phone so bad…

the moment i love you
March 17, 2009, 11:07 am
Filed under: Love

i stand by the door, putting on my jacket then my shoes. i remember my favorite purple scarf that i have not used for a while but i cannot remember where i have last seen it. so i switch on the lamp in the hallway and i spend a couple of minutes looking for the purple scarf before i find it under the shoe cabinet.

i look at the mirror one last time.

i look at the time. i am getting really late.

unlocking the door, i cry, bye-bye!

wait, wait, wait, he says, rushing out from the bathroom in his towel, water dripping from his hair.

kiss, he says.

and we kiss.

goodbye, he says… unaware that he has just made my day. today, and every day.