Screaming in Sweden


Seriously.
April 18, 2008, 6:41 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , ,

Absolutely bizarre.



When Swedish people vomit uncontrollably
April 17, 2008, 11:55 am
Filed under: Sweden | Tags: , , ,

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! geram.

I just need to scream.

Why do Swedish people get ill so freaking easily?

It frustrates me. It makes me wonder why.

At work there is at least one person who got sick every week. Or at least one of their kids is ill. And then they have this illness called magsjuka (which is some kind of stomach sickness and which is also like the word for every-single-day) and then they cannot eat and they feel nauseous and they vomit all day long. It seems like the germ spread around the whole Sweden mainly via freaking daycare centres.

People are constantly ill here. Swedish people must have the most vulnerable stomachs in the whole wide world. Besides magsjuka Swedish people who love to travel also very often exchange their experiences with diarrhoea when they are abroad.

Even the national statistics agree with me. According to this study by the Socialstyrelsen or the National Board of Health and Welfare:

“… when answering the question “How do you rate your general state of health?” – equal proportions of both genders report that they have poor or very poor health”

.

And it just seems to me that everyone talks about magsjuka just as much as they talk about the weather. They say they consistently change the sheets and clean the floors because apparently you have no control over when and where you are about to vomit.

I may sound like an idiot but it just sounds so damn strange to me. I mean I don’t ever get that sick. Because the only time I vomit is when I make myself vomit (by sticking my fingers in my throat).

.

Maybe I am just very freaking healthy.

.

pictures from doc18 and miffy_carrotblog



That ugly barking red poodle and the Doberman-greyhound
April 10, 2008, 8:42 pm
Filed under: General | Tags: , ,

It’s Thursday. And I am cold.

I want to scream my lungs out but I would just look silly then.

So here I am. Sitting on this uncomfortable brown suede couch, eating that Thai fried rice I love so much, drinking a glass of wine, watching Chandler and Monice telling lies to Joey because they want to have sex (and with Joey being there it is not possible you see), thinking of the three policemen and -women carrying guns at the Thai restaurant.

And thinking of that fawn pug I came across on my way home. She made me smiled inside.

She was in fact the third dog I came across today. The first one was an ugly reddish grey poodle with weird hairdo. She could not stop barking at that huge Doberman-greyhound (which was the second dog I met) in the bus I was on. The lady who had the poodle looked like a poodlelady.

You know poodleladies. They are little old ladies wearing expensive designer coat and most probably a beret, a black one most of the time. They also love carrying some kind of furry article. It could be a handbag or an extra fur coat. Just in case. And of course a poodle with weird hairdo in the other hand.

And this ugly red poodle could not stop barking at the other dog who was very calm, thinking how silly that ugly red poodle looked when she barked.

Poodlelady (in a very coarse voice, the one that sounds like she smokes too much): Stop it!!! What is this nonsense?!?!!!

Ugly red poodle: Woof woof!!!! Woof!!!!!

Poodlelady: Stop it now!!! You silly little dog!!! Calm down!!!!

Ugly red poodle: Wo-wo-wo-wo-ooooooooof!!!!

That was when I felt like screaming.

But I held it back. Because like that huge Doberman-greyhound I thought it would be silly to scream then. I looked at the Doberman-greyhound and it (I wasn’t sure if it was a he or a she) looked disinterested, ignoring that ugly barking red poodle.

I thought that was really cool.

OH that ugly red poodle. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

She really did make me want to eat her up right there on the bus.

Or at least one of these….

Tri_Poodle’s pic.



That crazy little screaming char boh and upside-down glasses
April 1, 2008, 9:17 pm
Filed under: Books, General, Obssession | Tags: , , , , ,

I have done some thinking today. I think about what people think of me. I think about what the most important people in my life think of me. I think about what I think of myself. Then I think about what I think of them and other people. And then I think of the question that Veronika once asked. And I mean the Veronika who decides to die which is one of my favorite books in the whole wide world of course.

What does it mean to be crazy?

You see I am not quite sure why but my doctor says I suffer from hypotension. And she smiles and starts talking about the nice sunny weather. And then people at work think I always yawn. They also think I should sleep early “tonight”. Some people think I laugh too much, I scream too much, I nag too much.

My dad used to call me siao char boh which means crazy woman and slow motion because he thought I had a slowish walk. He still does at times when he gets the chance. My mom used to call me siao char boh and siao lingyi. My beloved grandmother call me siao lang which means crazy person. I guess she uses a gender neutral term because it is more convenient that way. My friends in KL call me sor poh, which basically means the same thing as siao char boh but in Cantonese.

And it doesn’t end there.

He thinks I am nuts because I have my own house rules like when He puts the drinking glasses and mugs upside down after cleaning them I must turn them over again because it makes me anxious if I don’t. I don’t like the thought of the rims coming into contact with the kitchen sink.

He also call me gul which means yellow, screaming little chinese, screaming little mongo, lingovic, lingon, crazy little party girl, regeringen which means the government, tjockis kinesen i Örebro which means the chubby chinese in Örebro (He wrote a song about it), crazy little yellow person, and et cetera.


What does it mean to be crazy?

If I am crazy then I must be living. And happy. At least that is what Paulo thinks.

I know what drives me crazy. The drinking glasses turned wrong side up in the kitchen. And Him not closing the door properly on His way out.

*pulls hair out*